Christmas is almost here, and I'm becoming a bit nervous.

Not nervous about whether Santa will stop by my home or not.  Not anxious about what will be left underneath the tree or if Santa will like the cookies and milk left for him.  My nerves are on edge because there is a “large” pair of shoes I’m trying to grow into.

Growing up I was fortunate to live very close to my grandparents, aunt, uncles and cousins.  How much better does it get?  Lisa, Pam, David, Michael and I knew that MawMaw and PawPaw would begin visiting the home of each grandchild.  They must have started around 1am and surely visited Lisa, Pam & David first.  The always seemed to be the first ones up to see the load Santa had left. 

Later Christmas Day, we would all gather at their house for our big Christmas meal.  There were endless tables of yummy food and a living room filled with beautiful packages of all shapes and sizes.  As if Santa hadn’t left enough for each of us, we absolutely could not wait to open gifts.  And interestingly enough, we were happy to help clean up the debris when all the packages had been unwrapped.

All this seemed to happen, just magically.  No one seemed stressed over the shopping, cooking, decorating and the clean up.  Everyone seemed relaxed and enjoyed the day together. It’s those memories that begin to make me nervous.  MawMaw and PawPaw are no longer with us, and our Christmas traditions have had to change.  My brother, Michael, has a family of us own and lives near Huntsville.  Barry and I live in Roanoke, AL and our daughter, Stephanie, lives in Columbus, GA.

I’m not sure when that “large” pair of shoes became mine.  Perhaps someone suggested that I try to grow into them, maybe I offered in a brief moment of insanity, or could it be that that’s what daughters do.

My home is decorated (yes, with seven trees), everyone knows the plans and what time to arrive.  The beds and pillows have been fluffed, as everyone will be spending the night because they are traveling a long way.   I don’t know how many years we have had the family Christmas in my home, but in that time we’ve never over cooked the turkey, forget the dressing or burned the bread.  OK then, why the butterflies in my stomach?

I strive to provide the loving and cheerful environment for my husband, daughter, parents, brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew, just as I felt growing up.  Tonight, in addition to my prayers for the needy, I will ask God to keep his hand on my shoulder as I strive to be a gracious hostess, like those who came before me.  

Growing into the “large” shoes is important to me.  I would like to think my MawMaw would approve, and I enjoy seeing my Mom & Dad enjoying the day with their children and grandchildren. Perhaps that’s how I got the shoes; perhaps the best Christmas blessing for me is having my family relaxing and enjoying each other’s company in the comfort of my home.  Is it possible that I will never feel comfortable in these shoes?

Only time will tell.  Whether the shoes are comfortable or not, I will continue to open our home in hopes that our family will continue to gather here.  And in the years to come, I will share what I have learned with my daughter and my niece, as the shoes will one day be passed along to them.

If you are wondering about the seven trees, I will add pictures to my blog, provided I can figure out how.  In case you can’t tell, I’m new at this!

Thanks for taking the time to read my ramblings.